Editor’s Note: As I’m writing this Fasoli’s Twitter following is steadily increasing. The Italians have came through, but the work is still not done. Just like the Irish building the Titanic, they’ve failed once again.
If you’re Irish just stop reading you pieces of shit. I knew this would fucking happen and it’s sickening. I was over here just minding my own business when I got a distress call. It was similar to when Princess Leia left that message for Obi Wan Kenobi.
“Help Me Obi-Wan Nicky, You’re My Only Hope”
Nick Fasoli has a heart of gold. On my first day at Barstool I was sat next to him. I thought he was 42 years old because of how hairy he was and the fact that his eye sight was deteriorating. Turns out he was 22, didn’t know how to pay his bills and had the innocence of a new born baby guido born in North Jersey.
On that day, our Italian brotherhood was born. We were linked, two Nicks, The Nicks In The Office.
Fast forward 2 1/2 years I get laid off and shit hits the fan. Like in the Sopranos when the hits are laid out on Tony’s crew. It was all coordinated. People will blame resources as to why the hit was put out on me, but I know the real reason. I’m Italian and too good looking for that office. I didn’t fit in. But now this has become bigger than me. The main issue is that my departure meant my people would have a target on their back. Open season on the Italians and no one to defend themselves.
“Is there a Barstool Italians?” – The Yak
I’ll answer that. No, there isn’t. … Not yet.
So earlier today on The Yak, Big Cat and company lured Fasoli on the phone to explain that a movement had been started on the internet to unfollow him by Jack McCarthy. His name is so Irish I’m becoming nauseous even typing it. Ya see, Fasioli has been campaigning to reach 10K followers on Twitter. For as long as I’ve known him this is all he’s ever wanted. I used to watch him add a line to post-it note every time he got a notification. It’s everything to him.
Now insert an Irishman with a vendetta against awful tweets and men that can actually grow facial hair – Jack McCarthy (editor’s note: I like Jack a lot, good dude, works hard, but for this blog fuck him). This cabbage eater even created the hashtag #FasoliToZero.
He’s trying to SILENCE US! He’s trying to make sure our voices aren’t heard. I’m mean sure, Fasoli’s tweets may not always land or make any sense, but dammit, in the words of Frank Fleming “THIS IS AMERICA AND WE HAVE THE RIGHT TO TALK!”
My heart breaks for Fasoli. All he wants to do is shoot video and VIVA his hairy balls off. Let him live. Let him mangia.
Let’s get him to 10K #FasoliTo10K
VIVA LA FASOLI!
Nicky The Good 
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