Nicky The Good

Every once in a while I’ll see or read something that I absolutely cannot wrap my head around. The sheer stupidity of the risk vs. reward is something I’m unable to compute no matter how hard I try to find a rationale thought in my brain.

As the entire internet knows by now, Paul Bissonnette from Barstool’s Spittin’ Chiclets podcast had to spend what should have been a relaxing evening, fighting off 6 to 7 total fucking losers as he came to the defense of an employee at the restaurant he was dining in.

Thankfully Biz is okay. That’s what is most important. Even for a professional athlete, total alpha dawg like him, this must have been completely insane. No matter who you are, what your skills are, when it comes to bar fights and the unknown, all bets are off. Anything can happen and the end result could by anywhere from a funny tale with the boys to a catastrophic life changing event.

I’m not surprised Biz fought off these dudes after seeing their mugshots. Makes total sense and I’m not gonna go too deep into these guys are because they’re already, rightfully so, getting dragged by the entire internet and are on the wrong side of Stu Feiner (who literally loves everyone and would DIE for them).

What I am gonna say is that if you’re starting bar fights even somewhat regularly (more than once in your life) you’re a fucking loser and need to get it together. I’ve been in one bar fight in my entire life. I didn’t start it. I didn’t even know it was happening because it escalated so fast, and we were outnumbered about 9 to 3 within seconds and it did not go well.

Maybe it’s because I hold my alcohol well. I’m a happy drunk. I talk a lot, my Brooklyn accent gets dialed up to 150%, but that’s about it. I can cut myself off easily and I’ve always dreaded a hangover regardless of my age. At this point in my life, I barely drink because I’m washed when it comes to nightlife, but that’s me.

A bar fight is a no win situation, especially in 2024. You gotta be so fucking stupid to start one or you may just not know how the internet or technology works or worse, the law. If someone wants to find you, they can find you when you’ve entered a public place. They can identify you. You have a camera on you. There is no escape. Also, there’s nothing worse than trying to start one and then having the mountain of a man bouncer put you on display in a chokehold as he tosses you outside like a pigeon.

On top of that, you’re one punch or kick away from literally changing your entire life. All your accomplishments, reputation, career, friendships, relationships or worse, FREEDOM are one dumb decision away to being gone forever in an instant.

After watching Biz’s initial video he made on Twitter one thing stuck out to me more than anything – It was when he said “thankfully I didn’t get knocked out”. That was chilling. As a Dad, husband, normal person, that scared the shit out of me. Here’s a professional athlete who understands that these idiots were seeing red and not about to stop. It doesn’t matter that he’s an alpha and can hold his own, numbers are fucking numbers. Which means, what if the worst case scenario happens and someone gets seriously injured … or worse? You go from a slap on the wrist and eternal embarrassment to life in prison? Think about that. It’s not dramatic, it’s reality. It’s the same as getting behind the wheel drunk. DON’T FUCKING DO IT.

If I sound like a Dad, it’s because I am one. You think it’s dramatic, I’ll call you a loser. Don’t fucking do it. Unless you are defending yourself or others from harm, I don’t see a reason to get involved in a bar fight. If you know you can’t hold your alcohol or know your buddy can’t, figure it the fuck out. Because if they get involved and then YOU get involved, guess what? You’re going down with him if things take a turn.

Just look at these guys. They go from “let’s go to a night out” to having to look like the losers of the internet heading into Thanksgiving dinner with their families, knowing that they’ve officially ruined their lives and are an embarrassment to themselves, their families and everyone they know. Their faces are literally plastered on the internet which as we know, is forever. There is no expunge your record in these streets.

That 3 minutes of stupidity now has you locked into loserville for eternity. Was it worth it? No, the answer is no. You’re not tough, you’re a dummy.

Just remember, you never know who is on the receiving end of an altercation. You never know who the person your idiot friend is starting a beef with is. You never know. You can’t know. And in this case, the guy was a professional athlete, with the #1 hockey podcast in the fuckin’ world, who works for Dave Portnoy and worst FOR YOU of all, knows Stu Feiner.

So as Thanksgiving Eve goes down tonight, make sure you remember this blog. Don’t be stupid and don’t end up looking like an asshole before sitting down to eat some dry turkey and mashed potatoes with your now embarrassed mother, wife, father and/or children.

Lastly, none of these guys were Italian because the Italians are too busy being good looking and eating the finest cuisine there is. We ain’t fighting when the cannoli hasn’t hit the table yet.