According to comedian Tracy Morgan the weightless drug Ozempic is no match for his appetite. He gained weight on it. As an Italian, I understand this completely.
These weight-loss drugs don’t know who the fuck they’re dealing with. I am a bottomless pit. I have no end to my appetite. There isn’t a moment in the day where I’ll say to myself “I can’t pound 7 slices of a grandma pie right now“. You put a grandma pie in front of me and it’s going down like your March Madness bracket. Right down ya throat and straight to the shitter.
Here’s the deal folks, all these weightless drugs do is kill your appetite. That’s all they do. There’s no real science behind it other than it makes you eat less. You intake less, which means less calories consumed. Calories in, Calories out, go fuck yaself.
It’s that simple and in my opinion, really stupid.
Tracy Morgan knew this wasn’t sustainable. If you’re the type of person who says “I like food”, chances are you muthafuckin’ LOVE food. You think about it all day. You get excited for each meal. I know this because I’m one of these people. I start thinking about breakfast as soon as I finish dinner.
Also, I have SHIT genetics. Both my parents are short and over-weight. Nobody in my family was gifted jack shit when it came to the genetic lottery. We gain weight super duper fast. If I have an extra slice of anything I’ll get a third ass cheek and a bonus love handle. We skip the double chin and go straight to the triple. That’s just the way the cookie has crumbled for yours truly.
Now you’re probably asking yourself, “But Nicky, then how do you look so amazing? How do you look the way you do? How can I be like you? Your wife is so lucky.”
It’s simple and it’s also the reason you don’t need Ozempic.
Self … motha … fuckin’ … control.
That is actually sustainable. Taking a fucking drug via injection or pill is not gonna keep you on track the rest of your life. Again, this is what Tracy Morgan must have known all along.
You can crash my appetite all you want, but at the end of the day, WE GONNA EAT. The inner fat in all of us is our true self. It’s always been this way and always will. Nobody wants to not finish the last slice of pizza. Everyone wants the extra slice of cake.
Ozempic, if ya didn’t know, now ya know, you a bitch.
Nicky The Good 
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