I came across this video on Twitter and can’t help but agree. Most of the time, Fine Dining is a scam.
If your portions are small, it just ain’t gonna work for me brother. I don’t care how amazing of a “bite” anything is. There is absolutely nothing more deflating than being pumped up for a meal, but as soon as it arrives you find out it’s a one bite experience. I like big portions. In fact, I don’t tolerate small portions. I’ll immediately write a place off if the portions are small, that’s just how it goes.
Does anyone not think this? Like do people not want to be full and satisfied when eating out? I bet the people who like small dishes think “presentation” is important, as if I give a shit if there’s enough green on a plate when I’ve been fasting since the morning so I can stuff my face in peace … like a true Italian.
Also, I don’t want to have to try and trick myself into thinking the portion is bigger than it is by cutting it into even smaller pieces. No. No mind games. I want large bites and lots of them.
Straight up, 10/10 times I’d rather go to a Mom and Pops shop that’s been around for 50 years than the hottest spot in NYC. You can’t tell me it tastes better. You just can’t.
Lastly, I don’t want to have to buy about 15 individual plates for the table in order to ensure that I’m gonna be satisfied. “Tasting everything” is fun I guess, but when I’m out, I want to own my entree. If we’re tasting, that’s the starters, not the main course. Eating isn’t a game to me. If I have a bad meal it will literally fuck up my entire day.
So to wrap this up, either show me some big portions at your fancy pants restaurant or cancel my reservation. More than one bite, everyone knows the rules.
Nicky The Good 
Leave a comment