Everybody knows I run these streets. When it comes to anything Italian I am the authority. The Head of the Table. As I like to say, I’m “actually Italian”. My blood is 100% Italian, my wife is 100% Italian. My children are 200% Italian. That’s math. My mother-in-law has sausages hanging in her garage right now.
Now when I saw my guy Jeff Nadu breakout an Italian review I was fuckin’ locked in. For the rest of you it’s entertainment, but for me it’s personal.
Let’s take a look at what’s going on here. First off, I’d like to commend Jeff on his accent. He admits he’s not Italian. He’s Albanian. With that said, his accent is a pretty good “Italian American” version. Jeff did slip up at the end into his true Philly accent when he said “Let’s get a bite”. I want to you hone in on the word “BITE”. That’s Philly. That was a slip up. The rest was pretty clean, but that one word brought me back down to earth.
Nonetheless, his accent is way better than some of the imposters he called out on TikTok. Those people try WAY too hard and he’s right. Majority got Irish blood and are just jealous.
I say all of this knowing I’m another guy who does Italian bits on the internet, but the difference is I don’t pretend like that’s how I actually talk (all the time). These people #NADU is referring to do nothing but exploit my superior culture to gain views and exposure.
Moving on to the actual “hoagie” as he referred to it …
First off, Italians DO NOT eat Hoagies, we eat Heroes. That’s not debatable, but he did call out the geography in the post so it is what it is. But the terminology of authenticity is incorrect.
For the meat, a traditional Italian sandwich does have room for interpretation despite what the hardos of the world will say.
It can really be any combo of the below. Surprisingly the least used meat in an Italian sandwich of this nature is, Prosciutto.
For Meat – OPTIONS:
Capicola, Salami, Mortadella, Pepperoni, Ham, Prosciutto
For Topping/Condiments – OPTIONS:
Vinegar-drenched shredded lettuce, fresh tomatoes, sliced onions, and cherry peppers (sometimes)
For Cheese – OPTIONS:
Provolone or go fuck yourself
I did see some morons in Jeff’s comment section say “no lettuce”. Ummm, fuck your ass.
62 people saw this and are now dumber for it.
If it’s leafy lettuce okay, I’ll call bullshit, but shredded lettuce is an absolute staple.
For the meat, given he eye test, Jeff’s sandwich passed. I didn’t see anything egregious and it all checks out. Not to mention, I think the ratio of meat to bread was acceptable.
Now this is where the review ran into issues. That bread, while I don’t doubt taste good, is NOT acceptable. I would imagine the sandwich does taste incredible, however, if it’s not semolina or another bread where the top of the starts to flake a bit after biting it, it’s no bene. That bread makes this sandwich a hoagie, not a traditional and true Italian hero. If Jeff wants to straight up call this a hoagie, then I guess we can find a middle ground.
Lastly, the condiments. I love mayo on my sandwiches, but it DOESN’T go on a traditional Italian. It’s oil/vinegar, strategically soaked into the shredded lettuce, that will then marry into the tomatoes that should be properly seasoned.
Overall, I enjoyed the review, Jeff put on a great show, he made fun of the fugazis and definitely got me in the mood to go out and grab one myself (for a cheat meal because my body is a temple).
Nicky The Good 
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